Honesty about creativity, art, mental illness, grief, feminism, human rights and chronic pain with a healthy dose of sarcasm



Ode to my Anxiety Monster

To me, anxiety is a monster and the monster is made up of an infinite mouth space filled with infinite steely, sharp teeth, all the better to gnaw me with, and infinite blood-shot eyes, all the better to follow me with.

The more relaxed and calm I am the further away the monster feels from me. Sometimes I might even forget the monster is around at all.

As soon as anxiety creeps in the mouth filled with sharp teeth and eyeballs begins to close in on me. The more panicked I become the tighter the space around me gets until soon I’m not just anxious about what’s worrying me I’m also anxious about the anxious monster.

Below is a drawing and a poem about what it’s like to feel trapped in the monster with the anxiety moving in closer and closer and closer…

Anxiety has its teeth in me
Stabbed in my back where u cant see
I’m alone but it’s with me
Despite my trys to set it free
I’m battered, beaten&broke down
In depression I may drown
Alone&useless but that’s me
Trapped inside my own body

Can you relate? Tell me what anxiety is to you? what does it look like? How does it feel?



So Long Lenard Cohen 

My life wouldn’t be the same without the work of Lenard Cohen. Here is a half hour sketch of my Canadian hero.


Passion Practice 

Author Malcolm Gladwell posits to gain expertise at something one must put in roughly 10,000 hours of practice and study.

I believe I have my 10,000 in many aspects of curling. I believe I have roughly 10,000 hours accumulated in writing and reading but I feel I could do with another 50,000 hours of study before obtaining the expertise in literature and how to craft prose without sounding like a poseur. 

I was recently asked by someone trying to get a feel for how serious I am about art,”When did you last make art?,”  

I immediately replied, “last night before bed. I try to practice drawing and/or painting every day.”

I’ve been asked about this too with regards to writing and the answer is generally the same. I work hard to practice whatever I want to gain skill at every single day whenever possible because, for me, this is what keeps me moving closer to competence and , eventually, expertise. 

I find my confidence grows the more I practice. I try to vary my studies. I read a bizarrely broad range of books. I try writing in as many genres as possible. With art I experiment with as many different mediums and styles as I can.

Sure there is reading material I prefer but I try to mix it up in order to see what I might be missing. I am often surprised to find myself enjoying things I felt skeptical about at first.

There are also styles of writing I enjoy but I try everything from Haiku to science fiction. Again I am always surprised to find myself enjoying an unexpected new writing style. Art is also always surprising me. The more I learn, the more I grow to llove the practice.  

My wish is that everyone has a chance to work towards exploration, achievement, and advanced knowledge in whatever one finds a passion for, be it anything from plumbing to flower arranging.

Knowledge is power, skills are transferable and practice is a huge part of growing and learning and stoking the passion within us all.







just stay on the rails.

Don’t fail,

don’t fail!





Grab the bull by the tail,

stick to the marked trail,

Also keep your entrails,






Anxiety Cycle

I’m feeling paralyzed again. Mind can’t think and body feels like it’s vibrating. Chest is tight. Breathing seems hard to regulate. Too deep or too shallow, that’s me.

How many days now? Four I suppose. When will this cycle end?

Painted today and that helped for a while.🖌🎨

Tired of avoiding caffeine.  I like a good cup of coffee or 2 but I just can’t tolerate it when I feel this jangled.🍵🍵 Not even decaf.

This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass.This will pass. This will pass. 



Facing Anxiety – Small steps are still steps

And anxiety takes over yet again and the more I fight it the harder it tugs. Sinking in quicksand. Will I ever find my feet? 👣

Would that I could wish it away but wishes like that just beg it to stay. Scanning thoughts to find the cause. Scanning because it’s not obvious. Trouble is, when I’m unsure, the more I scan the more I find to be anxious about.

Last night I couldn’t nail it down but it comes into sharp focus this morning. I am venturing out to watch my friends son curl and although I am excited I am also terrified.😨

I’m heading back to a place where many of my dreams came to be. Where many of my dreams came true. So much history. Unfortunately this is not a world I’ve been part of for years. Now I’m outside looking in.👀

My injuries keep me away and I live in fear of questions about what I’m doing now, where I’ve been. I thought I’d set the curling world on fire someday.♨ It’s hard to make disability leave sound hopeful. 

Back to this morning.🌞 I arrived and watched my friend’s son play and he had a great time and so did I. I did see people I knew but, of course, they were all gracious and kind and genuinely curious about what I was up to.❤

I’m glad I went today. It was scary but I feel good about it. I don’t know when or if I’ll be back on a more permanent basis but that’s OK. I don’t have to have it all figured out just yet. Small steps are still steps after all.👣



Something to call me

whenever I’m fucking nuts

or just cracking up


Finding a-MUSE-ment

Being creative doesn’t always come naturally and even if it does, from time to time, every artist finds themselves uninspired. A creative block, writers block, missing muse… call it what you will, if you feel this way it can be tough to snap out of. Here are a few tips for getting that creative mojo back!

Here’s a small sample of a piece I’ve been working on for weeks. I’m not always sure where it’s going but I’m learning from it and I know I can see it through to finished if I persist. 

Grind it Out – Keep drawing, keep writing, keep dancing, just keep at it. Keep grinding away and you’ll soon get back on track.

Try setting a timer and don’t stop grinding it out until time is up. It may feel as though nothing produced during this time will be of use but you’ll likely be surprised. Often I’ve been able to push through in this manner and I then find myself feeling re-energized and inspired.

Practice Every Day – In order to succeed the only way to improve is with practice, practice, practice. If you want to write spend some time each day either reading or writing or both. 

You needn’t stick to your main project and its research, any sort of practice helps. Play with writing prompts for both fiction and non. Try reading a wide and unusual array of books. Even try subjects you think you’ve no interest in. You never know what may strike your fancy and inspire you to new find unique new ideas and initiatives. 

Try Something Different– If you write try painting. If you paint try dancing. If you choreograph try poetry. Switching from one creative medium to try out another doesn’t mean abandoning your art of choice. On the contrary, by trying another medium you expand your horizons and will likely find inspiration to take back to your choice medium… who knows, you might even find another choice medium.

Give Yourself a Break – That’s right folks… you heard it here first. NOBODY is ON all the time. Honestly; I garuntee even the most successful folks out there falter from time to time because they’re human and so are you. 

It’s OK to rest and recharge. We all feel uninspired from time to time and that’s OK. It’s OK as long as we keep picking back up and trying again and again. 

As an artist (holy-pretentious-sentence-stater-Bat Man!), I have often felt like I’ve reached the end of my creative life and I’ll never find my muse again. Fortunately my muse isn’t as mellow dramatic as I and has never failed to return and gift me with another idea, another spark, and that’s all it takes before I’m off and running with another project.

There’s always more creativity left to find, the trick is to persist. So keep kicking down doors until you find where your muse is hiding and take back your mojo!


Sanity Squad

Sylvia Plath and I had a laugh

Over cherry pie fresh from the oven

We discussed pills, bell jars, wills and the attractivness of covens

Then Virginia came in with tequila and gin

And gave a sweet, sideways grin

“Depression sucks,” we toasted, “good luck!”

And got ourselves drunk as fuck 


Blog at

Up ↑