It took more than two years but we finally spread my Mother’s ashes as she requested.

I recall the day she told us where she wanted to leave the trappings of her physical life. It was about two weeks before she died and I decided to ask her what she wanted specifically. 

She spoke of a beautiful outlook west of the small town she and my Dad had called home for the past 15 years. She mentioned a gorgeous Vista of mountains and trees and a great gorge alive with a rushing river. My Dad knew where she meant so that part was set.

I asked next if she wanted her funeral to include anything special. She laughed and shook her head, saying, “you guys do whatever you think is right… I won’t be here to participate.”

I like to think the funeral was something she would have approved of. I am not so sure she’d be pleased with how long it took to spread her cremains. My Mom was a woman of action and waiting two years to complete our only real directive would likely have rankled. 

I feel better for having completed the task not so much for myself but for her. She had no choice about dying from cancer far too early, the least we could do is shake her forth into the wind and soil and sunshine where she wanted to rest.

Closure is not a feeling I can imagine myself finding but I do feel we accomplished something and there’s little my Mom loved more than crossing something off a to do list! 

K

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